From the outside, everything looked extraordinary. Global leader at PayPal. One of the best years of her career by any measure. The kind of professional momentum that takes years to build. And inside, she was not sleeping. Not one night a week. Every single night disrupted. Stress at a 10 out of 10. The divorce process so all-consuming she used that exact word to describe it, completely all-consuming, like it had taken over every corner of her life regardless of what she was

There is a question that comes up constantly for women navigating co-parenting with a difficult ex, and it is not really about logistics. It is about whether to say yes when every part of you wants to say no, whether to hold a boundary when it would be so much easier to just go along with it, whether the discomfort you are feeling is worth listening to or something you should push through. The noise around that question can be exhausting. So I want to give you something that

The Hidden Cost of Holding It Together Through Divorce There is a version of falling apart that nobody sees coming. It does not look like crying in the school parking lot or sending a 2am text you will regret. It looks like you. On time. Composed. Handling it. You show up to pickup without drama. You answer the co-parenting texts promptly. When the schedule shifts, you adapt. At work, you are still the person people count on. From the outside, you are the picture of a woman w

She had the kind of life that looks impressive from the outside. Senior leader at a Fortune 500 company. High-performing. Composed. Raising her daughter. Handling it all. And her marriage was ending. She came to me stressed at a 10 out of 10. Waking at 4am with her mind racing one to two nights a week. Losing up to 20 hours every week to co-parenting drama and rumination. Her focus at work had dropped to a 5 out of 10. She was snapping at her daughter. She could not stay pres

You're the one who filed. You know you made the right decision. But here you are, crying in your car after drop-off, feeling a grief so heavy it physically hurts, and then feeling confused about why you're grieving something you chose to end.

What research says about helping your kids thrive through the transition (and how to manage the guilt that's keeping you up at night)

Peaceful co-parenting after divorce often requires an inner shift. This post explores how separating your ex from his role as a father can soften conflict and create more calm for your children and yourself.

Peaceful co-parenting after divorce did not come easily for me. In this post, I share how I moved from high conflict to real calm, and why the work started (and ends) with me.

It hits you when you're watching your daughter's soccer game and you see the "intact" families on the bleachers. When you're driving carpool and your son asks why you and Dad are angry at each other all the time. When you're standing in your kitchen making dinner and realize you've been holding your breath for the past twenty minutes, bracing for him to walk through the door: Am I about to destroy my children's lives if I get divorced? Here's what the research actually shows:

Why seeking approval from your ex, family, and friends keeps you stuck in divorce and co-parenting (and how to finally trust yourself) the freedom that comes from not caring about others' opinions! When my first marriage ended, I thought being liked was the most important thing. I twisted myself into knots trying to make my ex like me. I wanted my friends and family to see me as the "good" one. I even tried to convince my kids that everything was fine, even though it wasn't.

How to transform a toxic co-parenting relationship into peaceful collaboration (even with a difficult ex) Women constantly ask me how I do it. They want to know why I choose to hang out with my exes and their partners even when the kids aren't around. How I handle the complexity of different households, diverging dreams, and so many cooks in the kitchen. Before I answer, I share that Paul is just one of my exes. The romantic relationships with both of my kids' dads ended year

Why blaming your ex keeps you stuck in divorce and co-parenting conflict (and how to take your power back) I don't know exactly when it clicked. There was no thunderbolt of truth that knocked me over, no gut-wrenching epiphany. It was slower than that. Sneakier. A quiet, steady unraveling of trust between my exes and me, a trust I didn't even realize was critical until it was long gone. At first, I couldn't see it. I was too busy playing the "better" parent. The one who had i

If you don't grieve the end of your marriage, you'll stay stuck in co-parenting conflict (here's how to move forward) When my first marriage ended, it was like a bomb had gone off inside me. I was shattered into a million pieces, Humpty Dumpty slurping on a latte, drifting down the grocery aisle, going through the motions of living a life. I was 35, the mother of a toddler, and so lost I could barely put on a pair of pants without sobbing. I had no idea that I needed to inten