What research says about helping your kids thrive through the transition (and how to manage the guilt that's keeping you up at night)

Let's take a real look at the question that's following you everywhere. It hits you when you're watching your daughter's soccer game and you see the "intact" families on the bleachers. When you're driving carpool and your son asks why you and Dad are angry at each other all the time. When you're standing in your kitchen making dinner and realize you've been holding your breath for the past twenty minutes, bracing for him to walk through the door: Am I about to destroy my chil

Why blaming your ex keeps you stuck in divorce and co-parenting conflict (and how to take your power back) I don't know exactly when it clicked. There was no thunderbolt of truth that knocked me over, no gut-wrenching epiphany. It was slower than that. Sneakier. A quiet, steady unraveling of trust between my exes and me, a trust I didn't even realize was critical until it was long gone. At first, I couldn't see it. I was too busy playing the "better" parent. The one who had i

Why seeking approval from your ex, family, and friends keeps you stuck in divorce and co-parenting (and how to finally trust yourself) the freedom that comes from not caring about others' opinions! When my first marriage ended, I thought being liked was the most important thing. I twisted myself into knots trying to make my ex like me. I wanted my friends and family to see me as the "good" one. I even tried to convince my kids that everything was fine, even though it wasn't.

If you don't grieve the end of your marriage, you'll stay stuck in co-parenting conflict (here's how to move forward) When my first marriage ended, it was like a bomb had gone off inside me. I was shattered into a million pieces, Humpty Dumpty slurping on a latte, drifting down the grocery aisle, going through the motions of living a life. I was 35, the mother of a toddler, and so lost I could barely put on a pair of pants without sobbing. I had no idea that I needed to inten

How to transform a toxic co-parenting relationship into peaceful collaboration (even with a difficult ex) Women constantly ask me how I do it. They want to know why I choose to hang out with my exes and their partners even when the kids aren't around. How I handle the complexity of different households, diverging dreams, and so many cooks in the kitchen. (I live for these questions, btw!) Before I answer, I share that Paul is just one of my exes. The romantic relationships wi

Peaceful co-parenting after divorce often requires an inner shift. This post explores how separating your ex from his role as a father can soften conflict and create more calm for your children and yourself.

Peaceful co-parenting after divorce did not come easily for me. In this post, I share how I moved from high conflict to real calm, and why the work started (and ends) with me.